I noticed myself doing something earlier this week. I think we all probably struggle with it from time to time.
I was thinking about the people in the cold.. and how I wanted to do something for them. And I immediately shut myself down because I knew I couldn't house these people, and I knew it wasn't very safe for me to try to pick up a walking stranger. I guess my point is that we should try to find ways around the things we CAN'T do with the things we CAN do. I realized that it would be SO easy to just have a cup of coffee or hot chocolate in my car and hand it to someone that is obviously cold. I know that's not a whole lot, but it's something. I would absolutely appreciate it if the shoe was on the other foot. This was pretty random, I am aware.
Lately, I've been pretty sad. Not in all aspects of life, because I'm totally and completely happy in my relationship with Kevin. But there are definately some holes. I miss my friends. I miss my family. I don't want to be an adult. I think the latter of it all really sums it all up. Growing up is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. I'm sure as time passes it will get better because it will become more comfortable. I guess I also am struggling with the fact that my "Growing up" seems to be so much harder than most kids my age's growing up processes have been. I know it's pretty selfish of me to "feel bad for myself" because in all reality I have a pretty great life. I'm just tired of stressing about paying for school. I could technically take the easy way and just take out some loans and be in debt forever. I'm sure I'll appreciate myself later in life when I'm not up to my ears in student loans. But right now it really sucks. I'm always working and I'm always doing school work. College is supposed to be fun.
enough of the pity party I suppose.
Atleast Bama is number 1!
Whoever happens to read this, just pray that I can accept my situation and find some peace in it.
Thanks guys, I miss you all so much.
Friday, December 5, 2008
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